Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Speak up, Stand up, & Ask for what you need

source

Here is the meeting summary from May 10, 2011.

Asking for what you need, can actually help you through difficult weight-loss situations. By verbalizing to your loved ones what you need to stick to your weight-loss plans, you can help them give it to you.

Speak Up
You're probably familiar with Asserting, a powerful resource from Weight Watchers Tools for Living, which will help you say, and mean, what you need from others in order to stay on track. In order to use Asserting as a weight-loss tool, follow these simple steps:

1. Identify who is making it difficult for you to stay on track, and in which situations. For example, imagine that you and a friend are planning your weekly lunch, and she suggests pizza – again.

2. Stand tall, be firm, and politely tell that person exactly what you would like from them (keeping in mind what their needs are, too). Try telling your friend that it's hard for you to stay on track when you're faced with the smell and sight of pizza, and suggest a deli where you could order soup or a salad, and where she would have plenty of options, too. Chances are, your friend will be more than happy to oblige now that she knows what you need. And perhaps even more important, you might even be saving your relationship – It's much better to speak up than to start avoiding your weekly lunches because they are throwing you off-course.

3. Feel confident that by expressing what you need you are increasing your chances of succeeding at weight loss. Remember, this is not about being selfish or picky, but about caring enough about yourself to establish lifelong boundaries on what you can and can't handle in your weight-loss efforts. There's no need to feel selfish or reluctant about expressing your needs, as long as you keep in mind what the other person's needs are, too, and try to find a balance between the two.

Asking people for help means...
• Involving the people close to you in your efforts to lose weight.
• Deciding what your friends, family, and coworkers can do to help you achieve your goals, and asking for their assistance. Maybe you want them to fill your wine glass with a diet soft drink or put food in serving dishes rather than piling up your plate.
• Anticipating how your loved ones will feel about you trying to lose weight, and negotiating with people who are unable or unwilling to help.
• Being flexible, and if you're not getting what you need, being proactive enough to look for motivation elsewhere.
• Posting and reading topics on the Message Boards. Making the most of the tips and encouragement you receive from your fellow WeightWatchers.com users.

Successful people do what it takes to get the help they need.
Some simply ask—people with great motivation systems are often in the habit of asking for the help they need, and the people around them are used to being asked.

Others, whose immediate family and friends aren't as helpful, expand their networks to include more of the kinds of people who understand.

Those of us who aren't used to asking the people in our lives for help with anything (much less something as big as weight loss), may feel tempted to just go at it alone. But it doesn't have to happen that way.

The encouragement that comes just by asking for help can be a big boost.

Asking for Help is useful because...
• Research shows that ongoing social motivation from family and friends, as well as other sources, may help to sustain weight-loss efforts.
• When you make an effort to ask for what you need, you're more actively thinking about what you need.
• When you involve people who are willing to help you, and negotiate with people who aren't, you're nurturing healthy relationships.
• When you recognize the gaps in your network, and seek help because of it, you're taking a great step toward success (not to mention your self confidence).

Make an effort this next week to identify the top people who regularly sabotage your weight loss efforts. Plan out what you need to say to them to identify how much of a hindrance they are on your weight loss. Then stand up tall and ask for the help you need. You never know if someone will change if you don’t ask for help. So is it a coworker, spouse, best friend…or maybe your mom who constantly pushes that unhealthy food on you?

This week, take the time to ask for the help you need!

1 comment:

-J.Darling said...

Ya know, I went through 6 months of therapy before it FINALLY dawned on me that I wasn't building strong friendships by "always being there for people." I mean, sure, that's a great trait, but I NEVER gave people the chance to BE THERE FOR ME! So I slowly learned to ask people for help - whether it was help gardening, motivation for health and wellness related stuff, etc.

The truth of the matter is - those people who only took and never gave, eventually faded away in my life and those people who were there for me when I asked for help - those people have become so close they are pretty much family now. The relationships are deeper and more meaningful than ever.

Just some additional food for thought.

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