Today our guest post comes from Allison over at Beautiful in Him.
Sounds like it should be a screenplay, doesn’t it? Can’t you picture it? A beautiful, thin (of course) lady in a big, flowy dress with her King—oh wait a minute! I said scale and I! Okay, so scratch the movie scene. Well maybe just tweak it a little and change it to a horror scene!
My scale and I have had a long love/hate relationship that has been mostly hate. The only time I’ve even partly loved it is when the number is heading the way I want it to—DOWN! I can honestly say that it has been hanging steady for a while now. I’m in my 30’s now and I’m thinking I may need to take up this phenomenon they’re calling exercise!
But seriously, I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I was a chubby little girl, a chubbier middle schooler, an anorexic high schooler, a vegetarian college girl, and more recently a Weight Watchers follower. I have come to grips with the fact that I love food. I love it more than I should. When I became pregnant the first time I gained 70 pounds. I just knew I was gonna have a 50 pound baby, but I didn’t. He was only 9 pounds. I had to actually WORK to get the weight off. Then I got pregnant again. I told God and myself that I was going to do better. I did, but only because he came 6 weeks early. If I’d had the entire 9 months the weight would’ve there.
So now I’m losing again. Seems like an ongoing battle that I just can’t seem to win. But then I’ve come to realize that I have been consumed with weight, scales, self-image, and so on for so long that I don’t know how to live without them. I’ve had to realize that I have to let go and let God. I can’t feel guilty if I enjoy an ice cream with my kids. I need to learn moderation and self-control. I need to realize that I am not a teenager anymore. I’ve had 2 children. My hips will never be the same…nor will my C-section belly.
That’s why I love Weight Watchers. I can eat things I like and still lose weight(although I’m gonna have to bite the exercise bullet). I don’t have to feel guilty. I can do my part and then just let go and let God do the rest. I can’t obsess over it. Maybe I can even do a screenplay on My Scale and I….once enemies now friends.