Monday, August 9, 2010

My Struggle with Closet Binge Eating

Last week I walked into my weekly Weight Watchers meeting, just like it was any other day. But I walked away floored by the information that had been shared with me. I have known now for quite a while that I am an emotional eater. What I did not realize until last week is that I am also a closet binge eater. However, I believe that emotional eating is deeply connected with binge and closet eating. On Friday I posted the Meeting Summary notes from last week’s Weight Watchers meeting. If you have not read them…you should! This could be an issue for you too and you just have not realize it yet. Please go read the notes, then come back and finish reading the rest of this blog...I’ll wait for you.

Well, are you a closet and/or binge eater? I am both.

As a binge eater, I will be very good at times and have self-control while other people are around. I care very deeply about what other people think of me. I am always wondering what people think about me when I eat something. I wonder what they think when I go for that second cookie. But, when I am alone, there are times where I find myself eating everything in the house. I probably binge eat alone to save face in front of other people.

For me, closet eating started at an early age. My Mom would go to the store and come home with snacks for everyone. I would eat them. Rarely would I eat them in front of everyone else, but I would take them in my room to eat them or I would scarf them down so no one would see that I was the one who had eaten the last cookie. Mom would ask us where the snack(s) went to and I would lie and tell her that, “It wasn’t me.” Little did I know it would start habit patterns that would continue on even into adulthood. To this day, this is my biggest struggle even at Lifetime, because I have a tendency to hide the food I’m eating.

At any moment my emotions can trigger either one or both of these negative eating habits. My main trigger emotions are stress, depression, and boredom. This past Saturday evening was so challenging for me, because I was sad and homesick while my husband was at work. This is a bad combination for me. Normally, when I get like this I just eat until I feel sick to my stomach. But this time I knew that this was not true hunger and I refused to give in to the demands of my emotions. I began to fight back by trying to distract myself. I brushed my teeth, turned on music, called a friend, got on the Weight Watchers message boards, and drank some water. The Lord gave me the victory, because Saturday I only ate one point over my Daily Points allowance!

If you do not know your trigger, trust me that it is worth it to take the time to find out. Daily we need to be on guard so that we can say no to unhealthy eating habits like these listed above. God is the source of all strength and we can do nothing apart from Him, so make sure to bring Him into your weight loss. I am here to testify that He is faithful!


kathyj333 said...

Good post.

Mrs. O said...

Thanks for the welcome back! I'm going to be tacking my emotional eating in a post this week. Thank you for sharing and being so honest. I really needed this. And most of all...congratulations on beating the "emotional eating attack" on Saturday! What a great victory, I hope it makes you even stronger the next time around!
Mrs. O

abbi said...

Good post. I used to be like this a lot before I lost weight. I would eat when no one else was around.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting this. I think I have a trigger time - after the kids go to bed. I need to get out of the kitchen and into another room of the house.


Anonymous said...

I definitely have a trigger food in Cheez-Its. If I open the box, I can eat the whole thing! I think its the salt in them that I like so much, I even eat the crumbs... that's rather embarrassing to admit but I do.

I will have to set a plan and put a few in a baggie or bowl and make myself NOT get anymore!!



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