Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Learning to Trust Again

I have hinted about the unbelievable amount of student loans Jon and I have to pay back. Today, I would like to get more personal.

Let me give you some background: it is extremely expensive to go to school and study to become a pilot. In total, our combined student loans, round out to be about $160,000. Most of the student loans we have are from Jon’s schooling. Jon’s aviation fees even exceeded the limit that the government would give us in federal student loans. As a result, many of Jon’s loans ended up being private loans, which we took out to pay for flight fees, while he was in school.

Our ultimate goal: is to be missionaries. Jon’s dream is to be a missionary pilot somewhere around the world. Our desire is that we would be able to minister to people in a culture that is not our own. However, this enormous amount of debt must be paid off first.

Jon’s grace period ends in the month of December and we must begin to pay back his loans. Honestly, with our current jobs there is no way that we are going to be able to make our payments and pay for all of our other expenses. For a while, we have been praying for that God would provide for us. We honestly believe that God will provide when the time is right. However, what is going to happen to us while we wait?

Last night I was thinking about our schedule and finances, it did not take very long for my soul to become overwhelmed. I was filled with worry and doubt about whether or not God would take care of us. I tried to pray through the worry, because I know that it is God who provides me with peace.

I needed this devotional today. I need to learn to trust the Lord. I have been trying my best to trust in God to provide the right job or opportunity that would help us to pay off our student loans. Like this devotional said, “believing is seeing” and let me just tell you that we have already seen God provide for us.

Please remember to:
Pray that above everything else we will trust God and seek Him daily.
Pray that we will have wisdom to know where God wants us to be.
Pray that we will be faithful to serve where we are at and not simply wait for our lives to start.
Pray that people will come alongside us and partner with us, both in prayer and financially.

Thank you for praying for us! We will keep you updated as God works in our lives.

I hope you will take time to read the Proverbs 31 devotional below.

. . . . . . . . . .
Learning to Trust Again
29 Nov 2010
Micca Monda Campbell

“Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”
John 11:40 (NIV)

Mary, Martha, and their brother Lazarus were in Jesus’ inner circle of friends. As part of the “in” crowd, Mary and Martha felt certain Jesus would come to them when Lazarus got ill. They had seen Jesus heal and minister to complete strangers. Surely, He’d come to those whom He loved. However, we see in John 11:4-6 that was not the case.
Jesus indeed loved Mary, Martha and Lazarus. Yet, when He heard that Lazarus was sick He stayed where He was two more days.

Let’s pause here for a moment. I find it very confusing that while Jesus loved His friends, He waited two days before He went to their side. These verses appear to validate our fear of rejection. We think, “If Jesus ignored His friend Lazarus, then He can ignore me too.”

After my husband died, I felt unloved and forgotten by God. I had trusted Him and believed as His child nothing bad would happen to me. When something bad did happen, I bought Satan’s lie. “I knew it, God. I knew You really didn’t love me!” I believed Satan’s propaganda which caused me to doubt God. He had promised never to leave or desert me, but there I was, alone. How could God betray me? I wondered.

Do you know that hollow, helpless feeling that accompanies the pain of rejection, loss, and loneliness? It may be the loss of your home, the loss of a pregnancy, or perhaps a loved one rejected you in some way. The pain of that rejection warns that trusting again is too risky.

The truth is, when you and I experience either emotional or physical trauma, and God doesn’t respond like we think He should, we will do one of two things. Either we turn to God, trusting Him with the result; or we run from God and feed on bitterness. But it doesn’t have to be this way. We can learn to trust again.

Perspective is often limited by circumstances. God knows exactly what He’s doing in your life and it’s always based on love. When I’m overcome with fear I’m not really looking for answers. I’m looking for the assurance that God is near, that He’s in control, and He cares about me and my circumstances.

While others may reject us, you and I need not fear rejection from God. As I began to understand that God had not left me, but was in the pit with me, I started to see a deeper truth. Bad things are going to happen to me while on earth. Usually they are the result of living in this fallen world.

Sickness, abuse and death are part of life in a fallen world that God will someday restore. Until then, God may allow me to go through these things. It’s not to cause me any undue pain, but rather He allow them and then use them to accomplish spiritual growth. Charles Stanley explains, “Some things are so important to God that they are worth interrupting the happiness and health of His children in order to accomplish them.”

This was true with Mary and Martha. Jesus told Martha that she would see the glory of God if she believed. Did you catch that? Believing is seeing. If you and I choose faith over fear, we will see the glory of God turn our pain into life and blessings.
As Mary and Martha believed, they witnessed the glory of God when He raised their brother from the dead. Their fears vanished and their faith was restored. If you and I want to exchange our fear for faith, we must believe that what Christ has in store for us is worth our present pain.

Dear Lord, even when I don’t understand Your actions, help me trust that You have my best at heart. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.


Anonymous said...

First off, *GREAT BIG HUGS* to you both. I needed that devotional today too. Thank you for sharing it. I'm sending many thoughts and prayers to you and your husband.

Living a Changed Life said...

Stephanie - Thanks for the hugs! We appreciate your prayers as well.

Anonymous said...

I will pray for the two of you. Student loans are very stressful. For the loans that are not personal and through the government you can fill out paperwork so that they are contingent on income. I wish I had ideas for the others.

Living a Changed Life said...

CarliAlice - Thank you for your prayers. We are looking into other options. It is just stressful.

Losing Brownies said...

Students loans are the worst. We are not able to make payments currently on ours so they are in forbarance right now. You should look into loan repayment based on your income.

Sara said...

I just found your blog from BlogFrog. I think I have been here for over half an hour! I loved the posts I have read. You were at the weight I am right now. However this was not my starting weight. I know that the food is where things are going wrong and the lose is just not happening correctly or quickly. (10 pounds in almost 3 months now) Your posts are inspirational. I am following, and I will be back. Have a terrific Tuesday!


Karen said...

My husband and I have been in a truly difficult spot financially, too, for 2 years. Our kids all have loans to pay off, too. I relate to your circumstances! Thru this season I've been praying that we wouldn't lose our faith no matter what-and things still haven't improved. However, our walk with God has deepened and it will for you and Jon, too. Just keep clinging to what you know is the Truth and you will get thru this. I will pray as you asked. Will stay "tuned" to see what God is doing IN you both.*hugs*

Marlene said...

Praying for a sense of peace in your lives about this. Praying for God's perfect will. You are a blessing and you will get through this. God always has a plan. :)

JCVWKING said...

Thank you so much for that.

Living a Changed Life said...

Losing Brownies - We are trying to look into what our options are.

Sara - Welcome to my blog!! I hope that you become a frequent visitor. It is so nice to meet you!!

Karen - Thank you for your prayers. I am not good at trusting, but I am thankful for the peace God has given me during this time. I know that He will provide, but it is hard to wait.

Marlene - Thank you for your encouraging words!!

Kristi said...

Great post and it's not easy to be so transparent. Will be praying with you.

Living a Changed Life said...

Kristi - Thank you! I really appreciate your prayers!

Allison Morrison said...

Thanks for sharing...we have about the same amount of debt due to our international adoption, home renovation, and some other "we really shouldn't have done that" kinda things. We pay extra when we can and don't go into further debt (so far so good). Our hearts are for helping others in His name so we trust Him to provide what we need to do His will...

Andrea said...

I've been following your blog for a while and really enjoy it. I also needed to hear that devotional today. God is good.

Living a Changed Life said...

Allison - You're welcome! Thanks for being honest. It is nice to know that we are not alone. I truly believe that God will provide for you, like He will provide for us!

Andrea - It's so nice to have you as a follower. I was so thankful that God spoke to me through this devotional too!

kellie said...

Praying for you and your husband. With God's help you have accomplished much through your weight loss. This is no different--He can give you both the wisdom, knowledge, and understanding to tackle this mountain. One step and day at a time--keep your eyes on the Lord.

Debbie Barker said...

My prayers are with you and your husband.
Have FAITH in GOD, he answers ALL our prayers in His time and in His way.
Debbie Barker

Living a Changed Life said...

Kellie - Thank you so much for your encouragement. I get discouraged and look down! Thanks for reminding me to focus on the Lord.

Debbie Barker - Thanks Debbie for such an encouraging reminder!

Simply Cintia said...

Praying for you all and rejoicing in your call to be missionaries. How wonderful!


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